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Reasons I Hate Billy Joel

If you have been following my blog (which I hope you have…and it’s not too late to start now), you may have noticed my intermittent jabs at Billy Joel. I hate a lot of music. Anything mainstream, corporate or unimaginative falls into that category. I could make a list. In fact I think I will.

Top Ten Bands or Artists I hate:

10. Rush (sorry Steve D. Neil Peart puts me to sleep)

9. U2 (Joshua Tree and the first album are listenable, otherwise…blech)

8. Bruce Springsteen (stop yelling you’re gonna pop a blood vessel)

7. John Cougar Mellancamp (Deloite, Haskins and Sells)

6. Journey (please stop believing that they’re good)

5. Asia (How do members of great bands make such shitty music)

4. Kiss (can’t get more corporate than Kiss…Kiss my ass)

3. Grateful Dead (sorry…I just don’t get it)

2. Bon Jovi (the godfathers of crap rock)



HATE him.

He is the poster boy for Long Island. They might as well make him the mayor and be done with it. Everybody claims to have met him, know him personally, did the plumbing in his house, knew the red-haired girl he did it with in the Chevrolet, went to high school with him. By the way, how many high schools did he go to? I have heard Westbury, Cold Spring Harbor, Hickville. Don’t answer this blog post with the correct answer. I don’t care

I hate the guy.

He is an arrogant, egotistical Elton John/Paul McCartney wannabe hack.

He divorced Christie Brinkley and his newest 23 year old hot little bride. He dated and broke up with Trish Bergin (News12 hottie..I know because I met her), and countless other beautiful women who called him a nasty fat old drunk.

People tell me he is a great songwriter. How many great songwriters stop writing songs but continue to make money in boatloads.

Billy Joel has not written a song in 16 years, a good song in 35 years.

He’s a bum who sells out stadiums doing the same old tired, overplayed, mediocre songs. He is the furthest thing from an artist in the history of music.

The ultimate insult to all things great about music is when he sold out at Citifield showing a movie of his concert at Shea Stadium. Are you kidding me?

Fuck you Billy Joel and all the tribute bands that continue to make money playing your shit ass music.

DON’T sing me a song and don’t drive anywhere near my house you drunk idiot.

I am NOT sorry…

All hate mail will be posted…so fire away…

no song clip – couldn’t find one


About Stevie GB

60 year old stand up comedian from Long Island. My approach to comedy is telling the truth about being married, middle aged and living in the suburbs. I enjoy making people laugh without making them feel uncomfortable. My act is clean and clever. Featured in Newsday and on News12. Winner of the Huntington Arts Council Laff-off, 2006. 3rd place winner of LI Press Best of LI 2011, A regular on The Long Island Comedy Festival for 9 consecutive years. Opened for Dennis Miller, Louie Anderson, Kevin Pollak, Bobby Collins, Bob Nelson, Uncle Floyd, Kevin Meaney, and many more.

6 responses to “Reasons I Hate Billy Joel

  1. Gerard ⋅

    I liked his old work, and am especially a fan of Pressure with the agitated keyboard. I totally lost interest in him when i heard the song We Didn’t Start The Fire.. terrible song.

  2. One of the all time worst artists of all time! The trith is finally told! One of the laziest most uninspired artists who ever had a top 40 hit. Fuck you i will not let you sing a s s song of the piano man. Great picture choice for this blog ha ha

  3. Cynthia

    >He dated and broke up with Trish Bergin (News12 hottie..I know because I met her)

    You, by 2 degrees, know Billy Joel. In fact, let’s take this one step further… You know someone who has had sex with Billy Joel. Yeah. That’s right. Did you shake her hand? DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT HAND’S BEEN???

  4. Frank Lombardo ⋅

    Wow – you actually met Trish Bergin………
    And that entitles you to be an incoherent asshole?

  5. Frank#2 ⋅

    Billy who?

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